Getting Back On When Life Spins You Off
I fell off the horse yesterday. Literally. My old guy spooked, spun, and there I was: smack on the ground in the middle of a field. It wasn’t expected and it hurt—both physically and emotionally.
What did I do? Well, I did what you have to do in that situation. I dusted off, gathered myself, looked my horse in the eye and got back on. I felt a little smaller, more humble, and definitely more vulnerable. But there was no choice—either for him or for me—we had to get back to work, make things right, and find a way to move on.
Falling off happens, even when you’re an experienced rider on a seasoned horse. Unexpected stuff jumps out of you from nowhere and sometimes you hit the ground. It’s never fun, but it’s how it goes. It’s riding; the only people who don’t fall are those who don’t ride.
Falling isn’t restricted to riding horses, of course. Falling, stumbling, failing—it’s part of life. It’s unavoidable. If you’re lucky enough to be above ground, stuff will happen. One minute you’re galloping along with the wind in your hair, and then the next moment you step in a hole, or make the wrong choice, or a stroke of bad luck smacks you in the face. As long as you’re living, you don’t get a hall pass from falling. It’s not whether it will happen; it’s when and how.
But do not fear: We are built to bounce back. We all have natural resilience, both physical and emotional. Our wounds, of both body and mind, heal with time and proper care.
Resilience, the ability to bounce back from hard things, is something that I talk a lot about in my work because it’s an essential life skill. Resilience is a quality that we come into the world with, but needs to be nurtured. In my view, resilience is one of the key components of a high-quality life; it’s that ability to adapt, adjust, and rebound from both the unexpected bumps of life and the inevitable mishaps that we bring upon ourselves.
So how do we nurture resilience in ourselves and, by the way, in our children? Here are some thoughts to consider:
Value resilience over perfection.
Keep the big picture in mind—stay focused on what is most important.
Don’t take those inevitable bumps so personally—Everyone has bumps…you are not exempt, so don’t overthink it.
Stop equating mistakes with ultimate failure—As noted above, mistakes are part of growth, and most certainly part of living.
Cultivate a sense of humor—the ability to laugh (especially at yourself) in tough situations is a true asset.
Get up, dust yourself off, and get back on "the horse," whatever that might be. And, be sure to take help that is offered a long the way.
Did my horse run off after he spun? He did, but he eventually stopped and someone caught him, and brought him back to me. He, the horse, looked apologetic. He didn’t mean to get me off; he was just afraid of a fast moving scooter. It was a mistake, and I forgave him (and myself), and we’re back doing what we love together.